Imperfect Gifts

A year and a half ago, I bought materials to make dolls for all three of my girls.  I planned to have them done by Christmas 2012.  I started the dolls but never finished.

My reasons were simple – no time, no space.  

I decided on a smaller goal.  Just one doll for Augusta on Christmas.  Again, I didn’t finish.

I set my sights on her second birthday.  While crafting her doll, I listened to my inner dialogue. 

It sounded like this: “Are the eyes even?  Is the mouth too small?  Will this stitch hold?  The stitches are so uneven.  I don’t really like the shape of the legs.” It went on and on.  What was left out of the chatter going on was, “I’m making a doll for my daughter who is… turning two.” 

I listened to my darling inner critic prattle on and sewed anyway.  I finished it the night before her birthday and wrapped it up.

She opened it on her birthday and was held it for a minute or two.  Then she put it down and played with something else.  Her sister, Avery, picked it up, hugged it and took it to her room.  (Where it remains.)

I didn’t hit a home run for Augusta with this doll, but I learned that “no time!” and  “no space!” are not the reasons my projects don’t get done by Christmas.  

I’ve started to call the inner dialogue while I work my inner third grader.  She wants perfect, matching stitches so no one will look at her work and say, “It’s not so great.”  

I listened to my inner third grader as I made a photo book for Augusta.  “Are the photos straight? Who are you leaving out? Will Mom like the photo of herself?” 

I said, “It’s okay, honey.  It’s for a two year old who may or may not love the book.  But she will not care if the pictures are straight as long as she can tear the wrapping paper.”